Amnesia
by TheWhiteCrayon
Summary: Nothing could ever make me forget about her. Not even now that I wanted to. -After Beck and Jade break up, Beck looks back on his relationship. And wishes he could forget. ONESHOT.


Okay, this story maybe familiar to you, because I have posted it before. Only there were songlyrics in the story then, and I was informed that I couldn't do that. So I deleted that story, deleted all the songlyrics, and now I'm posting it again.

Anyway, it was inspired by the song Amnesia by Guy Sebastian. I listened to it while writing, maybe you can listen to it while reading?

 **disclaimer; if I owned this stuff, I'd be rich. ... I'm not rich.**

 _If only I could wake up with amnesia._

"Why are you smoking?" she asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "Why wouldn't I?" She shot me a death glare. "Because you like living?" I smiled, but took a drag anyway.

She suddenly grabbed the cigarette, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it. "Hey! What are you doing?" "I'm saving your life. You can thank me later." I shook my head. I wanted to be irritated, but I couldn't keep the big grin of my face.

I decided to quit smoking that day. And I never touched another cigarette again.

I blew out the dark smoke. Never in till now.

* * *

"That's, that's... Hot!" The soup I had decided to order, turned out to be hotter than I had expected. She started laughing, while I started coughing. "Water! Please, water!" I was choking on the words. A waiter hurried to our table to bring me a glass.

I drank it empty at once. Which caused me to choke on the water, too. Which caused her to laugh even harder. God, this hurt. I gasped for breath. Where my lungs on fire? "Hey, are you all right?" the smile on her face disappeared.

She started to knock me on my back. "Beck! Beck, come on! Breathe now!" Some waiters gathered around the table. And suddenly, I received air again. I placed my hands on my chest, and laid back in my chair. I heard her sigh in relieve.

"You okay sir?" one of the waiters asked. "Yeah, I'm fine." I said with some difficulty. The waiters left our table, and slowly, people began to lose their interest in me. "Well. You certainly do know how to get attention, don't you?" she smiled at me. "Told you that soup would be too hot for you."

The pain in my chest that I had felt on our first date, was nothing compared to the pain in my chest I felt right now.

* * *

"I am in love with you." I suddenly knew that very sure. She smiled, and rolled her eyes, like she didn't believe me. "No, I'm serious. I love you! I love you, and it's getting worse every day!" She smiled insecure. I stroke her hair. "I love you Jade West. And I always will."

I hadn't lied. I still loved her.

And the heartache it caused, still got worse every day.

Love was just like a curse. Once it got you, you couldn't get over it anymore.

* * *

I opened my eyes, to find her still laying in my arms. That was the best way to wake up. Because reality was so much better than my dreams. I knew she wouldn't be awake for a while. But I didn't mind. I loved to just watch her sleep.

"Beck?" her eyes were still closed as she mumbled my name. "Go make me some coffee." "What's the magic word?" I teased her. "Please?" I gently kissed her hair, and got up to make the coffee.

I loved our mornings.

I smelled coffee. I couldn't stand that anymore. It made me think of her.

And how every morning again, I woke up in a nightmare.

* * *

I wrapped my arms around her, and for a moment, we just held each other. We just listened to the music, and we were just happy. Life is wonderful.

You are wonderful.

And I would never forget this moment. Not ever.

I played the scene back in my head. Over and over and over again. And I knew I would never forget her.

Because the times we were happy together, were almost worth all of the times I cry alone.

* * *

"You know, you're beautiful when you're angry." I said. She laughed. "Please." Yet I had managed to cheer her up, just a little bit. But it was true. She looked beautiful. So beautiful, that I just to kiss her.

I took her head in my hands, and placed my lips on hers. And there it was. A moment, so perfect, it could not be disturbed. It could not be forgotten.

And hadn't forgotten. Not ever. It was like every memory of her was branded on my brain.

At least it hurt like that.

* * *

My heart stopped. I turned around, only to see a girl with black hair blending in with the crowd. Of course it wasn't Jade. That wasn't even possible. I was in Canada. She was in California.

Only one more week. God, I missed her.

Next time, I would take her with me.

But there hadn't been a next time.

And I had now reached the point, where everyone had her face.

I had now reached the point, where I was officially going insane.

* * *

What the heck just happened? The last thing I remembered, was a big bang. My head hurt. I slowly opened my eyes. "Beck! Beck, thank God, you're awake!" Jade! She had tears in her eyes.

"Jade. Where am I?" "We're in the school nursing room." Her hand was softly going through my hair. "What happened?"

I didn't remember anything that day. The brain concussion had seriously messed up my memory. But not for a moment had I ever forgotten Jade.

Nothing could ever make me forget about her.

Not even now that I wanted to.

* * *

"I guess, it's better to feel love that hurts, than not to feel any love at all." the sound of my TV was filling the room. Jade sighed. "I don't get this chick! Why would you love somebody who hurts you?" She was always getting cranky at sappy movies. "Well, I kind of get what she means." I started. "What?" She was clearly annoyed.

"Well, when a love passes, that hurts right? I mean, it wouldn't be good if it didn't. That would be like you had never loved at all. That's why a break up hurts so much. But I know I would never forget you if we ever broke up." I knew I should not have brought that up, the minute I said it.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" I smiled at her overreaction. "Of course not! I'm only trying to say that I love you, Jade." She seemed a little relieved, but not satisfied yet. "I love you, Jade West. I always will."

And I still loved her. But I regretted that with all of my heart.

Because I had been so wrong to think that it was better to have loved than to have never loved at all.

Anything that hurt this much, could not possible be what's best.

* * *

Her head was on my shoulder. My arms were wrapped around her. We were counting the stars. The moment was so perfect. I knew I would forever remember. And I knew that nothing would ever compare to it.

A tear streamed down my cheek. The first one I had cried in years. The pain I felt that moment was just to much for me.

I knew it would last forever. And I knew that nothing would ever compare to it.

 _If only_ _I could wake up with amnesia._


End file.
